Six Observations. No more, no less. Well, maybe a brief intro, a spanish signoff, a ps, and a rambling subject line. but nothing else. well except for the heroic couplet
I`ve run out of witty email organizations, titilating introductions, apparently spelling wizardry, ranch dressing, and exciting travel stories for now. so the following are six observations/anecdotes/thoughts I`ve had this past week (six because on the seventh day we`re supposed to rest and i didn`t really observe much else). So I guess it`s the same as my other emails except without zingers and such. if you make it through these six paragraphs, there is a prize waiting for you after my best regards like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or is it Trix cereal? Without further ado,
ONE This week I had the bright idea of making ten rules for myself for some reason. They were heartfelt and deeply pondered and when I wrote them down, I actually felt like I was writing a part of myself on the journal`s pages. They ranged from the divine (7. No skipping classes) to the pedestrian (9. No staying up past 2am or waking up past 9am). They were foolproof due to rule 10. NO BREAKING THE RULES. The rules are to last 22 and a half days. 7 days later, 8 of 10 have been broken. They`re just suggestions anyway, right?
TWO The city of Buenos Aires has streets named after other cities, historical figures, and other assorted riff-raff like dates. However, it`s pretty easy to find your way around and know how far it is between two addresses because the numbers always start at 0 at the river and go up the further you go away. Each block is 100 meters, and it`s almost a grid except for necessary curves due to an occasional hill or railway. I love it. Except, my one neighborhood, is set out diagonally. I can`t begin to explain how much my mind hurts about thinking of the fastest way to get out of my neighborhood to the various internet establishments, subways, etc. This probably doesn`t make much sense, but it does to me. Imagine trying to walk from A to B only to be told that you have to go A to C to B every single time. That`s all I`m going to say because if I say more, you might see the screws coming loose...
THREE When I read books, I usually see myself as being the main character or someone close to said character. This week I read about a man who wanders the streets aimlessly at night (check), wears the same pair of clothes for a week or more (check...I`ve taken to wearing shorts with almost billowy longsleeved dress shirts. I used to wear my jeans, but they were a little tight and after one night of wearing them while wandering for several hours, I was invited to not one gay pub, not two gay pubs, but three gay pubs, so I decided the shorts would be a nice change, thankyouverymuch), knows a pale girl named sonia (check), and is wracked by guilt from his double axe murder of an old pawnbroker and her half-sister (che...). I got a little worried needless to say, even though I just did say it, because all the other signs were there. Then I looked closer and realized that when Rashkolnikov wanders the streets he goes into his own world after 20 steps (I can do it in 14 flat) and walks with his hands grasped behind his back (I prefer the hands in the pockets alternating with hands hanging out in front in the backpack straps like a velociraptor or t-rex, although I`ve never thought of it that way). So that`s that. thanks Mom for buying me that backpack 6 years ago. Then I realized this heroic couplet. i think.
books are for eating and not to be read
they go well with jam and a slice of bread.
FOUR I lost a baby this past week but gained Pablo. Pablo has three earrings. Together, I guess that means I have an average of 1 and a half earrings. To clear up any confusion, as if this email isn´t confusing enough, I did what I`d been avoiding. I joined a gym. Megatlon (MEGA TO THE MAX!!!). Pablo is my personal trainer or weight lifting instructor. The baby, is the 8.8 pounds I`ve lost this week from a combination of lifting heavy objects repeatedly for quite some time and rowing on an erg (indoor rowing machine) for a quite longer time. At the moment, Pablo says I`m strong to quite strong, while he smokes a Cuban cigar, drinks a German beer called Warsteiner, and runs around in a loincloth meeting women named Jane (only Janes) and giving inspiring speeches to expectant Scots (where do they come from?) fighting the darn British who I guess are somewhere around the corner from the gym. The saga continues, and as far as my calculations go (I haven`t had math since 11th grade, much less in spanish) I`ll be a father of a baseball team in 2 months (and emaciated to the point of being continually followed by a British man with a microphone asking a camera to help...you can do it!) and if there ever comes a time when I have to pull fifty pounds with my right hand to my chest 15 times then with my left 15 times and repeat that 4 times, I have the confidence that I am up to the task. And Pablo will still be MEGA TO THE MAX!!!-ing. Next observation please.
FIVE So I have to write a 6 page paper by Wednesday morning about the successes and failures of neoinstitutionalist theories in explaining the economies of Latin America in the 1980s and early 1990s. I know, I know, you (you being disenchanted college student or adult too far removed from college to remember the existential angst placed upon twentysomethings when their idealistic dreams of love, happiness, fraternity, and general good will are shot down by the cold hard theories of yesteryear) say but Josh, it`s only 6 pages. Aha! But it`s in size 11 font. Well, that`s just an Argentinian quirk. You can`t expect everything in the northern hemisphere to be the same in the southern hemisphere...remember the direction of water in toilet flushings??? Aha! But it has to be single-spaced. I stand alone in this cold dark world. but we stand alone together. whatever that means. so one more thought before I start that bad boy.
SIX There are two things that are permissable in Argentina, nay three that doth please the people. One, smoke. Smoke while cooking, while showering (there is an ashtray in my shower, i guess just in case), while shopping in the mall, while playing with the kids, while working out, even while making out (¨snogging¨for those over this age *holds hand too high*). This leads me to my second favorite number, two. Two, make out. While cooking, while shopping in the mall, while playing with the kids, while working out, even while smoking (I left out showering because I`m not sure on that one yet). Three, speak spanish. I mean, everyone does it. So in the spirit of Argentina,
hasta luego,
josh toro
ps if you have equally stimulating yet not very pertinent observations on life as you know it right now, let me know. oh, and your prize is this, the end of the email. and a good song is Midlife Crisis by Speechwritersllc easily accessible at http://www.mumstudents.org/~speechwritersllc/kspc9dec01/
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